Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
