Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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