matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
