When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize