I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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