Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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