she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize