I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
