Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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