Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So much rum. So many feels.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
