Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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