My liver just broke up with me...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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