I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
