We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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