There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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