I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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