I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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