I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
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You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
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Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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