how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
