My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
