he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The uberlube is also flammable
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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