He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
