He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Naked. naked and bneed help.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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