Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
