Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
