Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
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you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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