I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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