I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
