Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
