I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
