Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
