): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
worst night to have a conscience
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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