I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
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I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
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I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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