My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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