She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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