He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
