On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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