so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize