3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
