did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
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You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
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Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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