Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
