If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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