You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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