I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
