Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize