its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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