woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
