No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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