I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
