Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
