considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
