dude i'm inner monologue high
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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