I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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