I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
