my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
