she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize