Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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