Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
