Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
