that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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