Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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