WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
