I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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