Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
