I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
