are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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