I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
