i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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