My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize