I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
