Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
