Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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