I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
