the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
